Why does Terminator Genisys exist? Being the 5th entry in a long running series you better be an existential overhaul (like Fast 5) or reaching a sad conclusion (I’m looking at you Die Hard.) TG wants so badly to be the former that nearly all the dialogue is framed around reminding us why it exists. Remember Arnold? He’s back! Remember the Connors? They’re back too! Remember the 4th movie? Neither does this one! Terminator Genisys wants so badly to be the reboot none of us wanted and winds up being the sad conclusion none of us will care about.
After the dusty dread of McG’s Terminator Salvation I will say it was a welcome choice to reintroduce Arnold as the titular T-800. He’s truly the only reason to see the new film, bringing the same stoic gravitas that made this character iconic. The Terminator is back, still living his life’s mission – to protect Sarah Connor (Emilia Clarke.) Meanwhile in the not-too-distant Sarah’s future son John is leading the human revolution against the machines. He befriends a young boy called Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney) who grows into his right hand man and a stout soldier. Together they’ll take down the machines and forge a new future for humankind.
Unfortunately the machines are smart (sorta.) They know that John Connor is a time-traveler who understands how to defeat them. As the human’s final assault (to destroy their enemies’ mega-bomb) unfolds, the machines activate a young Arnold Terminator and send him back to 1984 to kill Sarah Connor and prevent John’s eventual birth. John elects to send Kyle back to find and protect his mother, by any means necessary.
That’s a lot of run-on sentences to describe the plot. Well, that’s because it’s a run-on-plot. The film is a little over two hours and spends that entire length explaining timelines, quantum leaps, parallel universes and why Arnold is aging even though he’s a machine (hint: it’s a really stupid reason.) And I get the overarching reason that sentient AI is threatening can be ripe for great stories (check out Ex Machina for a great example) but here that AI is so stilted and dumb. Instead of interesting evolution the Terminators just punch each other over and over. If the T-1000 is so much smarter why can Arnold’s T-800 outsmart it every time?
It doesn’t help that beyond Arnold none of these actors have any chemistry together. Jai Courtney had a wonderful cameo earlier this year in an otherwise jumbled mess – The Water Diviner. Here he plays Kyle Reese with no deftness, just a blockheaded war machine moving from one destructible environment to the next. His time-travelling partner/lover/I don’t even know Emilia Clarke (awesome on Game of Thrones) is a bit better – attempting to give the same strength to her performance as the original Sarah Connor – Linda Hamilton. Despite her attempts to inject some energy into this mess her chemistry with Courtney is non-existent. It’s like two wet blankets slapping against each other. They even have a nude scene that could not have been less sexy.
To put it bluntly, despite a couple goofy gags from Arnold and some fun action, this movie sucks. It wants to be the nostalgia trip that Jurassic World achieved with such ease. Instead the film is so naval-gazing at one point Arnold literally fights a younger version of himself. The problem is the Terminator series has been persistent (with new releases every 5-6 years) that at this point it’s impossible to link them together. The film even lazily inserts a post-credits scene to set up a sequel but at this point let’s hope the Terminator will NEVER be back.
Rating: 
